There are 847 finance newsletters. This isn't one of them.
This is a newsletter about what happens to your money after the deal closes. After the fundraise. After the exit. After the carry vests but before you can actually touch it.
If you're a principal, MD, or VP at a private equity, venture capital, or hedge fund, you have a specific set of financial problems that almost no one talks about publicly:
Your net worth is largely illiquid. Your carry might be worth $4 million on paper. You also can't access it for six years, it's subject to clawback provisions, and explaining this to your spouse over dinner has not gone well.
Your tax situation is genuinely complex. Section 1061 owns your financial life. Your K-1 arrives in March. Your accountant needed it in February. This is fine.
Your co-investment decisions feel more like obligations. No fee, no carry — sounds like a gift. Then you're writing a $500K check with 72 hours of diligence time while the deal team spent six months on it.
Your liquidity events create more questions than answers. The distribution finally hit your account. Now what? Your wealth manager wants to talk. Your estate lawyer wants to talk. Your brother-in-law has a startup idea.
This newsletter covers the financial questions fund principals actually ask behind closed doors.
What we'll cover
Carried Interest The tax planning, timing strategies, and psychological torture of illiquid wealth that looks great on your statement and terrible in your checking account.
Liquidity Events GP-led secondaries, IPO lockups, distribution planning, and what to actually do when money finally shows up.
Co-Investments When to say yes, when to say no, and how to do 72 hours of diligence on a deal the team spent 6 months on.
GP Life Making partner, negotiating comp, building your team, and the career decisions that affect everything else.
What you won't find here
Stock picks. Macro takes. Crypto opinions. "5 ways to optimize your morning routine.” Generic financial advice that applies to everyone and therefore helps no one.
Why anonymous?
For now, I'm keeping my identity private. Not because I'm saying anything controversial — I'm not — but because I want the ideas to stand on their own without the filter of "what firm is this person at" or "what's their angle."
Maybe that changes eventually. For now, the focus is on being useful.
What to expect
One email per week. Tuesday mornings. Specific, practical, occasionally funny.
If you're here because your carry vested and you have no idea what to do with it — welcome home.
If you're here for hot stock picks, the exit is behind you.
Talk soon.